Rules of Leggings

Rule One: Leggings should not be manufactured in sizes greater than a UK size 10.  If this was made law then this rant would not exist.

Rule Two: If you are larger than a UK size 10 don’t wear leggings.

Rule Three: If you are larger than a UK size 10 and you must wear leggings then make sure your top is long enough to completely cover your back bum slit and your front bum slit even when you bend over.  Especially when you bend over.

Rule Four:  If you are larger than a UK size 10 and wear leggings and a top that does not fully cover your back and front bum slits then please refrain from doing your shopping in my tesco between 4:30 and 5:30 pm on a Thursday.  If I have to endure the sight of you waddling up and down the aisles slouched over your trolley like a hunchback Mr Blobby once more then I won’t be responsible for my actions.

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